Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Derivation of "R-Dawg"

From Television Without Pity's review of The Amazing Race when two male contestants got into a fight. Chip and Kim are one couple, Brandon and Nicole are another.

THE DRA-MA:
Chip and Kim and Brandon and Nicole approach another island. Chip says to Kim that he's been considering acting like they didn't get it, in order to try to fool Nicole and Brandon. "He needs to get off the boat and look for himself," Kim says, quite correctly. "If this is the flag," Chip tells us, "we may act like it's wrong." "That's how you play the game," Kim puts in. The Chip/Kim boat pulls ashore, and Chip hops out. He runs up to the flag and pulls out the clue. "Should I get out?" Brandon asks. Nicole tells him not to. Chip pulls out the clue, which starts with the word, "Congratulations!" Chip looks around. "Shucks!" he says loudly. Yeah. He said, "Shucks." Shocked at his display of vulgarity, Nicole asks whether it's the right one, and Chip turns around. "No," he tells her. Nicole and Brandon start to send their boat to the last of the three islands. But then Brandon says, "I hope he's not just saying that, Nikki." "Chip! Is that it?" Brandon hollers, making Chip tell them one more time. "No!" Chip yells back. And then Kim quietly asks him, "Did you read it? What did it say?" And Chip mutters back, "Congratulations." Hee hee. Phil explains that the clue that Chip just recovered tells the teams to work along the shoreline of the island until they find another clue box. There, they will put on snorkel gear and search the bottom of the water for one of four big pretend clams that have clues in them. Then you dive and retrieve your clue.
As Chip and Kim putter along the shoreline, Kim voices over that they're not going to tell Brandon and Nicole that it was the right flag, because -- you guessed it -- "it's a game." And also because they're not Brandon and Nicole's field trip chaperones, and it's not really their job to tell them where to go. Brandon asks Nicole whether she's sure they should just take Chip's word for it. She chews her lip thoughtfully. "Chip!" Brandon calls out again, but Chip and Kim are already leaving. Brandon smells a rat. "Hey, I'm getting off," he says (snerk), and he jumps off the boat and swims to shore. When he pulls the clue and gets back to the boat, they note that it does indeed say "Congratulations," and that it tells them to look along the shore for a clue, which they do. "Chip and Kim flat-out lied to our faces," Nicole says in some disbelief, apparently thinking they were entitled to sponge off other teams while hanging back in their own boat. Unbelievable, really. "That makes me mad," Brandon says. And...whatever.


THE RESOLUTION:
As Brandon drops down the rope, he passes Chip. "Hi, B-Dawg," Chip says as he rests on the rope. "Keep going, Chipper," Brandon says. And with that, Chip and Brandon have made up. Exhibit A in Why Being Friends With Guys Has Its Advantages. It has its disadvantages when it comes to Talking About Your Feelings Without Simultaneously Playing Nintendo Or Comparing Everything To Something From A Comic Book, but when it comes to ending fights? It's a breeze.

R and I are actually men so this works for us. Natch.
Plus, I need to protect the identities of the participants.

2 comments:

tablefor4 said...
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tablefor4 said...

looking forward to reading more about your adventures
Richard and Alexis